Are you faced with a difficult decision? Whether this is a big decision or what one may consider a little decision, God’s desire is to guide you. He knows the number of hairs on our head (or how many there were if you have a Kojak). He numbers our tears in a bottle. He is not a distant God but is intimately involved and cares about the details of our lives.
Months of persistent dizzy spells and a brain MRI led my doctors to a Chiari I malformation diagnosis. . My symptoms may go away if I undergo surgery but the recovery from this type of surgery promises to be long, difficult and painful. If I opt not to do surgery, the condition will continue to impact my quality of life and could possibly get worse.
Before I met with the neurosurgeon this Monday, I was not seriously considering surgery. Now I see surgery as an avenue to hope. Hope that these dizzy spells will no longer be a way of life.
I have been seeking God’s guidance while I search for information on the condition, on the surgical procedure and the recovery process. I want God to guide my decision. The first decision is whether or not to do surgery. If the decision is to undergo surgery, then I want Him to guide my selection of the surgeon and the timing. I know where I am leaning, but I want His counsel.
Yesterday as I thought about these decisions, I got a reminder that He is my Shepherd, and that as He leads me through this journey, He is leading me safely home. His path, not mine, is the perfect way there. My role is to pray, to seek godly counsel and the prayers of the saints as I weed through the information. Whether or not I make the right decision will not be determined by the outcome of the surgery or the consequence of not going through with it, but by how much I allowed God to direct the decision.
Today, He sent me a message of grace …a reminder that He is involved in and in charge of all of the little details of my life. Tears immediately came to my eyes during lunch today as I checked my email messages.
I joined a Chiari support group on Wednesday morning to learn more about the surgery, the risks and recovery. One email referred to one a Dr Ben Carson of the best neurosurgeons in the area for this condition but bemoaned the fact that he only saw children. I recognized and remembered the name only because a good friend of mine read Ben Carson’s biography last year and raved about his testimony. By God’s providence, Dr Ben Carson will be giving a keynote address at a conference that I will be attending this weekend. This conference has nothing to do with Chiari malformation and when I was registering for this conference two months ago, I was thinking of the needs of my two sons with autism.
I am not expecting Dr Carson to handle the surgery. Maybe I will get a chance to speak with him and get some information… maybe not. But I know that this is just one little thread in the tapestry that God is weaving. We will definitely see the end result in that Day.
My prayer: “Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust;
Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You” Psalm 143:8
God’s response: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.” Psalm 32:8
His response will be the same to you. Seek Him!